What To Feel

Sometimes you go through stuff, and you don’t know how to feel. When you are going through depression and somebody says “Your only doing this for attention”, how are you suppose to take that? Like when you write something, and your mom finds it, and she says “You’re only doing this for attention”….. I wrote something a few weeks ago, and I hadn’t planned on letting anybody read it, it was just me ranting in a journal, for me to look back on and say “I got through that, and everything was okay”. But anyways, my mom found it, an read it, and told me that I needed to stop writing things like that because I was only looking for attention. I wasn’t though, I was just having a bad day that day, and needed to get my feelings out.

I feel like if you have something that you need to get off of your mind, and you don’t have anybody to talk to about it, then you should keep a journal because when you go through something tough in the future, and you think the world is coming to an end, you an look back on past things that have happened, and know that this is just a rainy day, and the sun will shine again.

Graduation

I’m a Junior this year, and I will be graduating next year. Over the past few weeks I have really been thinking about how life has seemed to fly by. When your not paying attention to what is going on, and what is going to be happening in the future, time kind of just slips from your hands. It feels like just yesterday I was having my fourth birthday, and it feels like just yesterday I was having my first day of sixth grade, and it feels like I just had my first year of high school… and now I’m in the middle of my Junior year of high school. Its kind of scary to think that I will be graduating in the next year, and then I’m off to college. It will make it easier to handle being out there on my own if I go to a college in-state, but I’m thinking about going to a college in South Dakota. Mom doesn’t want me to be so far away, and my step dad (I call him dad, because he has been here since I was 5, and I’m 17 now), he doesn’t want to lose his little girl, I’m the oldest, but still, he doesn’t want his little girl to grow up to quickly…. no dad does. I have so many things to look forward to, and at the same time, I have so many things to be nervous about. I have mixed emotions about this, I’m not confused, I’m just not sure weather I should be excited, or nervous. 🙂